Thursday, June 18, 2009

IOJB - The Ironic Orange Julius Bike


via k-wall blog


There's a specific tool for every job - every cyclist knows this.

It's an egregious faux pas to run your crabon fibre Cervélo on your four mile (30km) commute, or to slay some firetrails without at least 100mm of "squish". However, due to the present state of the world, one can now practice such flagrant offenses by using the Umbrella of Irony. The IOJB is the embodiment of this idea, due to the fact that, seriously, nobody goes to Orange Julius. Snob himself stated that he owns the IOJB due to his/her "soft spot for soft drink tribute bikes", not that he actually goes to Orange Julius.

When it comes down to it, the IOJB is just an idea, since only Snob knows the true nature of his bike. Much like the frequent donning of the Chicken Suit, the IOJB is a literary device straddled often to maintain anonymity. It's not known if it is even orange in color. However, it does have fenders (to defend against goose leavings), which leads me to believe that there exists some eyelets of practicality in the orange seatstays of irony.

15 comments:

BikeSnobNYC said...

BSExplainer,

I could not have said it better myself.

Unironically,

--BSNYC/RTMS

Anonymous said...

The Snob, in one of his moments of lowering himself to chastise a noob troll for wooden headed lack of understanding of sarcasm, satire and irony has stated that the IOJB isn't even orange.

So we still have no idea what color it is, but we know what color it is not.

Assuming that wasn't merely a literary device.

Anonymous said...

Damn, nipped for first by the Snobbinator himself.

ant1 said...

Snobby wins a comments race. Whom woulda thunken?

Unicornically,

--ant1st!

bikesgonewild said...

...wasn't julius of orange a dutch prince ???...

Anonymous said...

One of Billy3's kids I think, which is why, to this day, most "Dutch" city bikes were made in England.

grog said...

Not fenders, filth prophylactics.

Anonymous said...

The IOJB is black in color. Go look up the geese on the bike path photos.

Luck E. Seven said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kale said...

Anon 8:31

I'm pretty sure it's sepia toned with black accents.

bikesgonewild said...

...kale..."sepia toned with black accents"...

...you talkin' about the ironic orange julius bike or my attitude ???...

...just wonderin'...

Luck E. Seven said...

The Ironic Orange Julius Bike was a kickass slam on the ironic coffee bike.


A

erik k said...

why didn't anyone tell me about this awesome blog? I feel soo out of the loop. great work guys.

bikesgonewild said...

...sheesh, erik k...

...you seemed a little busy, you know, what w/ moving thousands of miles away, getting married for god's sake & getting ready to go back to grad school, photography, yer own blog & hopefully riding a bicycle occasionally...

...other than that, no reason...

...sorry...

erik k said...

haha bgw.... no worries. I'm on the inside now! PS I love you guys!